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May. 14th, 2009

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I was one of those super glamorous girls that live the high life in LA, have gorgeous guys drooling over them, and are always the highlight of any party.  They never seem to have any REAL problems and money just seems to magically appear for them.

But no, I'm the fat, homely girl living right next to Detroit who works at a demanding job, collecting new clients and bedbugs from infested apartments in the ghetto of Detroit to make a buck whose life revolves around stepkids on the weekends and new episodes of Fringe on Tuesday nights.

*sigh*

Apr. 17th, 2009

Writer's Block: Starting from Scratch

What would be the best thing about entering the Witness Protection Program and getting to start your life from scratch? The worst?
I could leave.  I could leave everything and everyone and be alone.  I wouldn't have to worry about living up to certain standards or anyone's ideals or necessarily work at a job that I hate if I didn't want to.  The only thing that would suck would be being away from my family...  But right now, that almost seems like a small price to pay.

Apr. 11th, 2009

Writer's Block: Confidences

Who do you think it is easier to talk about your problems with: your friends, your family, or strangers?
Strangers, generally.  A lot of the time I don't necessarily want advice or sympathy; I just want to get something off my chest.  Strangers are probably not going to care enough to really give out advice or sympathy and if they do and you don't like it, it's not hard to bitch them out and then just walk away.  I guess it kind of depends on the problem, though.  If it's something that people are not necessarily going to judge me harshly for, I'll usually go to close friends or family.  But honestly, you guys on livejournal get the most of it because I don't have to look you in the eyes and tell you what's up and you don't have to see the emotion and you don't even have to respond if you don't want to.  I find that I am generally a much more open person when there is a minimal amount of human contact involved.  I talk far more about ...important stuff in the dark in bed when not looking at Ben.  Maybe I'm just a weirdo, but it's easier that way. 

Guess it's time to go make up some Easter baskets.  Nothing says, "Yay, Jesus rose from the dead!" better than  $0.28 plastic grass, chocolate candy, and a DVD (and coloring books and stuffed Mickey and Minnie Mouse toys and bubbles).  *sigh*  Easter was always a big thing with my mom.  Doing any less than she did would just seem like I'm cheating the kids.  *shakes fist at childhood guilt*

Oh.  I'm going to Mass tomorrow.   Weird, I know.  We'll see what happens.

Apr. 10th, 2009

I Wish I Had Written This Song

With a few minor changes, of course, seeing as how I'm not a lesbian.  :/  It'd actually be really easy to change...

It's just so fuckin' catchy.  It makes me want to learn how to play guitar just so I can play this song.




So sick of the hobos always begging for change
I don't like how I gotta work and
They just sit around and get paid
I hate all of the people who can't drive their cars.
Bitch you better get outta the way
Before I start falling apart

I hate how my wife is always up my ass
She always wants to buy brand new things
But I don't have the cash.

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

How come I never get laid nice guys always lose.
How could she have another headache
There's always some kind of excuse
I still hate my job, my boss is a dick
"I don't get paid nearly enough
To put up with all of your shit"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

I hate that I can't tell when a girl's underage,
You know, I tell her she's a nice piece of ass,
Then her daddy punches me in the face

So if you're pissed like me
Bitches, here's what you gotta do
Put your middle fingers up in the air
Go on and say "Fuck you!"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

So much at stake, can't catch a break
I hate my life
No, it's nothing new hear "it sucks to be you"
I fuckin hate my life


Writer's Block: Get Real

What reality show would you most want to be a contestant on? What would your strategy for winning be?
The Biggest Loser; losing weight.  I'm pretty sure that's the only strategy for that show...

When I worked at Repairclinic.com (still love that place and advertise it when I can :P), we had a biggest loser contest and I won.  It was the shit.  Except that was basically my life...  Sleep, work, eat dinner, gym.  Get up and do it all the next day, and do it for three months.  I didn't know Ben at the time, I wasn't in school, and I was kind of estranged from most of my friends, so I had nothing better to do than be at the gym all the time when I wasn't working.  Still, for the amount of weight I lost, it shouldn't have taken me an hour and a half of cardio and at least an hour of weights 6 out of 7 days of the week.  Geh.

But I've found that a manageable group of people to compete with and a strong monetary incentive is pretty much my only motivator...  As much as I want to diet and be skinny and all that stuff, it's hard as hell to stick to because while there will be results eventually, there's no extra incentive to fix my gaze on.  Sad, but true.

If that didn't work out, though, I'd have to say the Apprentice (except I'd probably lose) or America's Next Top Model (which there is not a snowball's chance in hell I'd get on). 

Apr. 6th, 2009

Writer's Block: Grab and Go

Scenario: For exactly 1 minute, you get access to all the databases of all the intelligence agencies in the world (CIA, FBI, KGB, MI-5, etc). What do you want to find out before time is up and you're caught and jailed forever?

I wouldn't touch the damn thing.  I'd alert the nearest authority and let them know that their systems have been majorly compromised and I shouldn't be able to see that stuff, thereby hopefully averting a life-long jail sentence.

Duh.
 

Apr. 3rd, 2009

Writer's Block: The Geneva Conventions & the War on Terror

In 2002, the Bush Administration declared that the detainees of the War on Terror were not eligible for rights under the Geneva Conventions. Do you agree with the Bush Administration's decision? How might you have handled it differently?
Surprise of surprises, no, I don't agree with his decision.  Detainees are detainees, regardless of why they're detainees.  I'd have handled it similarly; I'd have still had Guantanamo, but it'd be more up to code with the Geneva Convention. 

Anyways, I have a new blog entry regarding the city of Detroit and its council and the city in general.  I'd be interested in hearing if anyone in the world agrees with me...

The Sad State of the City

At times, I think Detroit is doomed to fail.  Stupidity begets stupidity.  The city council is a fucking joke.  They're a bunch of racist black people who believe that white people should have no say in the city and shouldn't even utter Barak Obama's name even though us white folk in the suburbs acually want to help save the rotting, leaky, disgusting piece of shit that is Cobo.  They can't even accept the generous donation of time and money that Jay Leno gave to us in the form of a FREE show for all of those out of work in the Detroit area because it wasn't in the city itself.  (http://jonathanturley.org/2009/03/04/meltdown-in-the-detroit-city-council-leaders-accused-of-racist-remark/, http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2009/03/detroit_city_co.html

And there's also that Shrek comment that Monica Conyers made to Ken Cockrel a while ago because she's so immature that she has to resort to name calling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZQLxVO-qjM).  This clip made it on to some nationally syndicated  outrageous news clips or something.   So this is now what the world (or at least the people who saw that show) think of when they think about the Detroit city council.

Oh.  And then there's the former mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick.  Just google his name.  I'm not even going into all the bullshit and lies perpetrated by that sorry excuse for a man.

It seems like every night there's something new on the news about these fools who don't actually work together to make the city better.  All they want to do is divide it and advance their own stupid agendas.

I can't believe these people continue to get elected year after year.  It makes me wonder what the hell the people in Detroit are thinking.   But then again, they might just not know better.  The Detroit public school system has a $305 million dollar budget deficit (http://www.freep.com/article/20090403/NEWS01/904030307/1003/NEWS/Crowd+gasps+at+Detroit+schools+deficit), no one wants to work there because the kids are disrespectful and there is a lot of gang activity (not to mention the fact that white people are NOT respected), and the curriculum is not what it should be.  Detroiters are products of the school system.  If they aren't educated, they're not going to be able to make educated decisions about who should be elected and decide that based upon what they're saying they'll do and looking at their track record.  So they elect the most outspoken people who are just a whole lot of talk and who are "just like them."

Lack of education begets lack of education.  Gang violence begets gang violence.  Shitty home lives beget shitty home lives.  Things like this are passed down from generation to generation.  Detroit has a large amount of very poor, broken families with fathers who don't really give a crap about their kids and don't pay child support and mothers who got pregnant too young and didn't really want kids and who don't have the money to support them and have to work long hours at hard jobs for little pay just to put food on the table.  Couple the shitty school system with little to no education at home and a poor family life, and you get kids who are just looking to be accepted through gangs or sex because they feel alone and like their lives aren't going to amount to anything anyways because their school system and their families are failing them.

Is this post really bordering on racist?  Yes, absolutely.  But I'm continuing anyways.  Read if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.  NOTE:  THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY RULE.  I am generalizing.

There is a huge "the white man is the devil and the government is out to oppress us" feeling in Detroit.  I'm sure it's like this other places too, but I don't live other places.  No, not every person in Detroit feels this way, at least not openly.  But a lot do.  It's racism, plain and simple.  And they get away with it because it's okay to be racist against white people for whatever stupid fucking reason they come up with.  What disgusts me more than anything is that this sentiment is openly expressed by the city council!!  But I guess it's to be expected when groups like the New Black Panther Party have headquarters down the street and have the support of most people in the city (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uQ5qpiGjsw)...  Sure, they may shut down a few crackhouses, but does that bit of good really outweigh the divisiveness and anti-white and anti-semetic rhetoric that they're constantly spewing?  And a lot of people really support these people or other "black pride" movements.  I guess it's that uneducated mentality...  Strength in numbers; it doesn't matter if we understand what we're fighting for, just as long as we come out on top."  

I hate to say that.  Believe it or not, I do.  But it's TRUE.  Are all black people that way?  No, certainly not.  There is, however, something to say about stereotypes; they come about for a reason.  Just as white people can be stereotyped as beer bellied people who like to sit around, scratch their guts, and watch NASCAR and football all day, black people can be stereotyped as angry people who hate white people because it's what they're told to do.  Ignorance begets ignorance.  If there is no education as to why we should work together that is reinforced at home and in peer groups, we AREN'T going to work together.  And if the stereotypes are constantly reinforced on ALL sides, it's just going to prove that they're true for the GENERAL group of people.  Are there exceptions to every rule?  Absolutely.  Abso-fucking-loutely.  But as humans, we like to categorize things and people to make them easier to deal with.  We generally categorize things into categories like white, black, breakfast foods, dinner foods, outside toys, inside toys, etc. (I'm hungry and the kids are over) because they have specific characteristics or that is what we've learned they are.  Does that mean that things that are put in each of those categories are always in that category without fail and can't be an exception to the rule?  No.  You can have breakfast foods for dinner.  A ball can be played with inside or outside.  A burrito can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, OR dinner.  Plastic cups that are used for drinking can be used as bath or pool toys.  We have specific plastic cups that are used in the bath and only in the bath.  They're still technically drinking utensils, but they now have a different purpose.  It's kind of hard to type out how it's relative to the whole "not all black people hate white people and are uneducated" and "white people are NASCAR-loving fatties who hate black people", but hopefully you get my point.  As a whole, stereotypes help us deal with large numbers, but when you break it down and get to know individuals, you know that everyone has a different story and different feelings and different views.

Because of this, I think Detroit is doomed to fail...  It needs so much help that I don't know if it CAN survive.  Now that some of the last good jobs in the city are being taken away thanks to GM's potential bankruptcy and the abysmal state of the auto companies in general, everything's only going to get worse.  What draw does Detroit have?  Sure, a couple blocks downtown are nice, but the minute you travel outside those blocks, you see boarded up windows and shabby buildings and gangs of teenagers walking down the street.  There's no education, so no one knows they can succeed without turning to drug dealing or prostitution or other unsavory professions.  

You know what else is sad, too, is that the suburbs don't want the kids from Detroit being bussed out to their schools because they misbehave and have no respect for anyone.  Well, shit, when you're a sophomore in high school, have a crappy family life or just think it's "cool" to be a gangster and haven't had to respect anyone in school and there's no incentive to work hard, you're probably going to continue that lifestyle and frankly, I don't blame suburban schools for not wanting that.  Believe it or not, suburban schools have a lot of problems too, and why should taxpayers in that city have to pay for these disrespectful kids who are probably behind their own children and their own children will have to slow down in their classes so these inner city kids can catch up, even though they probably have no desire to?

It's sad.  It's so sad.   And I hate to say it and I'm afraid of what people are going to think, but I'm telling the truth as I see it, whether you or anyone else wants to hear it.

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Apr. 2nd, 2009

Writer's Block: Prison Food is Punishment Enough

What food would you miss most if you were sent to prison for the rest of your life?


Considering the seriousness of the issue of Guantanamo Bay, isn't this question just a tad bit flippant?

If you do something bad enough that warrants going to prison for the rest of your life, I don't give a fuck if you eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  YOU DESERVE IT.  And if, God forbid, I do something bad enough to land me in jail for the rest of my life, I'd deserve it too. 

But prisons these days seem to offer better food and recreation options than some schools and give people more than what they'd have living a very poor lifestyle or even being on the street, so I'm not sure that there's really too much they're missing.  Shit, if I'm homeless, why not kill someone and get sent to prison for the rest of my life?  I'd have a roof over my head, a warm place to sleep, three hot meals a day and would be able to make money and buy more shit, be able to go to school, have a community, watch TV...  Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

The American prison system pisses me off.  It's lax.  You're in jail to be PUNISHED, not to live a decent lifestyle.  Am I saying prison is easy?  No.  But it's not exactly the jails of lore, with damp walls and rusty iron bars and a bucket of water and a loaf of bread.  I don't understand why I should pay for prisoners' cable television and worship sessions and half-gourmet meals.  As I said, if they did something bad enough to be thrown in prison, shouldn't they actually be, oh, I dunno, SUFFERING?  When watching "Inside (insert name here) Prison" shows on MSNBC or, yes, the National Geographic channel, all those lifers seem to be doing pretty dang well for themselves.  They have their smokes, they have their Pepsi, they have their room decorations and guitars and nice blankets.  What the fuck?  There are people on the outside that can't even afford that shit...

I know, Guantanamo's a different story.  It's for prisoners of war.  These people wanted to kill Americans.  Some of them did it or they helped others do it.  They should be there for life.  Period.  If you spill my countryman's blood or have any hand in it, I want you to rot.  And no, you do not deserve special treatment because you're Muslim.  You should get three hots and a cot, and that's about it.  And maybe a Koran.  Are there some innocent people in there?  Possibly.  I'm sure there are innocent people in American jails, too, because of human error.  But the vast majority are probably there because they did something wrong. Do they deserve torture?  No, no one does.  There's that whole Geneva Convention thing that spells it out if you have any questions.  Was there torture going on at Guantanamo?  I don't know.  Of course the prisoners are going to say there was; they want America to suffer and look like fools and they want sympathy!!  Even if there WAS torture, I don't think that shutting down Guantanamo is the way to go...  Restructure it.  Get all new people in there, heavily monitor it, and keep the prisoners locked up.  Don't release them back to their own countries (like THAT'S a fucking good idea) and don't ship them to our already overcrowded prisons. 

There goes that Barak Obama again, doing before thinking...
 

Apr. 1st, 2009

Avoiding Cleaning

So I've been writing out thank you cards most of tonight and all of yesterday night.  It makes me realize how much I actually miss writing.  Sure, typing's great and you can get messages to people really quickly, but there's something about sitting down and writing a letter and then getting one in return in the mail that was handwritten.  Maybe I'm just a nerd and hanging onto the 1900s or something.  After all, the post office is having financial troubles anyways and might not be around for much longer...  At least not how we know it.

I need to clean.  I so desperately need to clean.  I'm getting to the point where I am completely irritated by the mess in the bedroom.  I'm completely irritated by the mess in the rest of my house as well, but there's not a whole lot I can do about that until the cabinets are back up in the kitchen so we can get all of the food and dishes and everything out of the office and the kids' bedroom and, oh yeah, THE STOVE IS OUT OF MY DINING ROOM.  But really, having to take everything out of the kitchen is actually kind of nice because I can go through everything when putting it back and get rid of the stuff we don't need/want/use and rearrange everything and make sure everything is clean.  Since we've moved in, I haven't really felt like the kitchen was MY kitchen.  It's the one room in the house that isn't really comfortable for some reason.  Maybe it was because everything was just kind of thrown together and nothing was really organized.  Hopefully this will help...  Or maybe I just need new cabinets.  *sigh*

I need to update my registries, too.  Apparently everyone was irritated that almost everything ended up being "online only".  I did them quite a while ago, so a lot of stuff was either discontinued altogether or ended up being online only.  So thanks to people's prodding, I've begun the slow process of re-looking for stuff that is available in local stores.  It's harder than it sounds, because Walmart is about the only store that gives you "in store" options without having to click on each item.  

So now I guess my choices for the night's activities are go to sleep at 8:45 pm, update registries, or clean.

I'll take clean for $2,000, Alex.

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